Whether you are parents with children who are alert to every noise in the night, or you’re a couple with roommates that have hearing abilities like a bat – having sex with a squeaky bed can be nearly impossible. Whatever your circumstances are, the worry of being caught by relatives while you romp on an in-law vacation or tired kids stumbling into your room just in the middle of a climax is more scary than sexy.
To take away the worrisome edge you experience, it’s time to finally ditch the annoying squeaks that come from your bed. Although you may be able to stay as silent as possible during sex to avoid any awkward encounters, your bed will probably have other ideas. However, you shouldn’t be forced out of having sex because of a squeaky inconvenience or fear of waking neighbors through paper thin walls.
To quickly fix a squeaking bed it is advised to rotate both the mattress and box spring 180° to help eliminate a majority of noise issues. Additionally, you should place a pillow between the wall and headboard and quickly tighten any loose nuts, bolts, or screws that make up the bed frame.
Where Is Your Squeak Coming From?
First things first: it’s time to locate the squeak. You should first diagnose the problem by taking the bed apart and assessing the issue. You can do so by separating the mattress, the box spring, and the frame, and putting force on all of the items separately while listening for the pesky noise.
We Suggest Starting With The Mattress, as this is usually the most unlikely culprit, but the best one to eliminate first. Slide the mattress onto the floor from the bed and place pressure on the mattress across all difference sections, listening for any creaks or squeaks. Sometimes, a loose spring in an old mattress could be causing the noise.
Next is The Box Spring. Joanne Cote, store manager at Mattress Firm in Hadley, Massachusetts, believes that the most likely cause of the unwanted noise is the box spring or the bed frame. “The box spring is the most common source of a bed squeaking,” says Cote. “It’s either the box spring itself, or it could be the wood of the box spring on the metal frame.” To test your box spring, slide it off the frame and just as you did with the mattress, gently sit or apply pressure to the spring. If you hear the noise or squeak, there’s a good chance an old spring or chafing wood is causing the issue.
Lastly, You Should Check The Frame. Put a small amount of pressure or weight onto the frame and shake it gently, first from the sides and then from the headboard and footboard. It shouldn’t take long to hear any creaking or identify loose joints. If you’ve found your bed frame to be the culprit, we’ve found that this Zinus Bed Frame to be the best bed frame for sexually active couples who need a silent and sturdy option.
How Can You Fix The Squeak?
Fixing The Mattress: The first point of call for ‘fixing’ a mattress is usually simply flipping it over or rotating it in order to relocate the pressure points – a change in weight distribution on the springs can make all the difference. Regular rotation is recommended anyway by mattress manufacturers, just to ensure even wear. But more likely than not, if the issue is severe, the mattress is still going to squeak. You should check to see if your mattress is still under warranty and, hopefully, you can return it or exchange it for a replacement.
Fixing The Frame: The next DIY stage may require you to grab a toolbox and reach for a screwdriver or Allen wrench to tighten everything you can in the frame. Make sure you focus on all of the bolts, nuts, and C-clamps. You can also add washers where bolts are loose and won’t tighten (for those who are not hardware savvy, A washer is a thin plate – typically disk-shaped- with a hole, usually in the middle, that is normally used to distribute the load of a threaded fastener). Washers can be purchased at local hardware stores or online, but it is wise to check which type you will need before heading straight in.
After this, you should spray all the connections down with WD-40 spray – a penetrating oil and water-displacing spray – or a comparable silicone lubricant. However, you can also rub a candle or some beeswax on all the joints if you’re wary of chemical smells. Finally, if you find that the wood slats on the bottom of your frame are part of the issue, you can wrap each with a worn-out piece of clothing, such as an old sock or T-shirt.
Fixing The Boxspring: You can start by rotating the boxspring, which should move the pressure point to the foot of the bed and alleviate the noise. You can also try placing a book or a small piece of wood in between the squeaky box spring and the mattress to relax any rubbing/squeaking. If this small hack doesn’t work, you’ll have to look into other options, one of these being the warranty. If the box spring is under warranty (which most usually are, as it is common for box springs to come with a 10-year warranty), you can simply swap it out for a new one.
However, if it’s out of warranty, you can either replace it yourself for as cheap as $60 or have a go at fixing it DIY style. If you opt for the latter course of action, make sure you have all the tools and instructions you need. You should start by pulling back the felt cover and lubricate each of the springs with WD-40 spray. If it’s wood, try the old sock method mentioned above. Either way, you’ll want to reattach the felt with a construction stapler.
What Smaller Tricks Can You Use?
If you want shorter, temporary fixes to your bed’s issues, you can try these handy tips to eradicate the noise.
The Legs of The Bed: If you think the legs of your bed are being a noise nuisance, you can solve this by placing soft or rubber pads under the legs. These types of furniture pads are found in plenty of furniture stores or online. Some examples include the X-protector furniture felt pads found on Amazon or the SlipToGrip Prescored Furniture Grippers.
The Wood Joints: Another possible issue is the wooden joints. If there is wood rubbing against wood within the joints, the outcome is usually a screeching sound. Some common and quick options to avoid this are to securely glue the pieces together or add something between the joint – like a piece of fabric or thin sheet. Alternatively, you can tighten the screws, however, this latter method will usually only postpone the issue.
The Mattress vs The Frame: Although you may already have considered the mattress and frame as separate items, they can cause an issue when combined back together. In older beds which have planks across the bottom, or in newer beds which have the entire mattress resting upon a frame (or on hinges), there could be a sound generated between the mattress and the frame. To avoid this annoying sound, you can add something in between the two elements. You could add a rubber adhesive/band on top of the bottom frame if this is making the sound.
The Bed Placement: You should also consider the smallest hack of all: where your bed is placed. If the bed bounces into walls, dressers, or other furniture, you’ll definitely notice the noise. Consider the placement of your bed in the room and perhaps rearrange the furniture to avoid your bed being too close to a wall or knocking into a table or dresser while you’re busy.
Rattling Headboard: Like many famous movie sex scenes will show, a creaking, rattling headframe is usually the culprit for plenty of distracting noise. To avoid this becoming a reality in your bedroom, ensure your headboard is pressed against the wall perfectly, rather than rocking back and forth against it. If you can’t move your bed any closer to the wall, try stuffing an extra pillow between the wall and the headboard as a temporary fix. If all else fails, it may be time to switch up which end of the bed you have sex on. Try moving to the end, facing away from the headboard. This may prevent the headboard from moving as much, therefore, ensuring it stays quiet.
What Type Of Silent Mattress Is Best For Your Type Of Sex?
Another element to consider is how your sex lifestyle is affecting your bed over time. Too much rough play can inevitably lead to broken springs or even more annoying squeaks – so be sure you are prepared to make an investment in funding any new items for your bed if having quiet, ‘safe’ sex isn’t an option for you. Although there aren’t any official statistics on just how many beds and mattresses are broken through sex, judging by the number of personal accounts shared online, the percentage is likely fairly high.
In this case, you should consider what are the best items for you to have going forward for your bed when it comes to sex – or at least the type of sex you wish to have. According to the Sleep Advisor, The Casper Mattress is the best option when choosing a mattress with sex in mind. This is not only due to its memory foam style which is practically silent, but also due to how versatile it can be during sex. Instead of sinking in like you would on a traditional memory foam mattress, individuals experience a gentle cradling from the comfort layers, which means it is easier to stay in alignment. Therefore, if you’re a couple who likes versatility, but worries about the noise that may come with it, this mattress is a great fit for you. Casper’s medium level of firmness also gives most positions a comfortable, balanced feeling of pressure, relief, and support.
Another silent and comfortable mattress to consider is the Lucid Memory Foam Mattress – known as the most durable. Some beds can wear down over time, which can put an abrupt halt to any activities other than sleep. From high-quality layers to overall solid construction and tufting, the Lucid Memory Foam Mattress is an extremely durable choice.
The next mattress is the ultimate silencer – of squeaks, that is. The Layla mattress is an all foam bed, meaning it comes with zero risks of creaking coils. This makes it perfect for optimum noise discretion and comfort at the same time. As well as reducing noise, Layla is double-sided with soft and firm firmness levels. Therefore, you and your partner can benefit from noise reduction and determine the best firmness level to use for the most enjoyable experience.
The last mattress we suggest is for those who want to add some bouncing into their sexual activity – which in reality, happens for most sexually active couples. If this applies to you, you’ll want a mattress that can support the bouncing movement, without squeaking throughout. This is where the Brooklyn Aurora (Ultra Bounce Mattress) can come in handy. Most couples may feel inclined to go for a spring mattress (the ones most likely to cause noise) when it comes to sex, especially when a memory foam mattress can feel like you are sinking and being trapped in a soft yet squishy mess. Luckily, this particular mattress is designed to not let you sink too far. Instead, this mattress’ supportive coils with mostly quick-responding layers that will adjust when you and your partner need them to. What also makes the Ultra Bounce unique is that you can choose from three firmness levels when purchasing.
How Can You Ensure The Squeaking Doesn’t Return?
Getting rid of a dreadful squeak can be pure bliss – however, you may find you can hear it’s faint, haunting sound again within a few weeks time. Don’t let this minor set back get you down, as there is plenty of upkeep work you can do to ensure this issue doesn’t persist.
First, Consider the position you choose to have sex in. The position you have sex in can ultimately determine how much (or how little) noise is made. Obviously, not everyone is a DIY expert or has the money nor tools to constantly fix a squeaking bed, so sometimes a little bit of compromise in the bedroom is all it takes. Start by looking at your current sex routines and establishing which positions and strategies make the most noise. It’s probably best to do this when you aren’t having sex to avoid any high-tension distractions. Here are the best positions to use when trying to avoid the terrible squeaking:
Spooning: With both partners lying down and one entering from behind, spooning sex doesn’t require a lot of movement – since you’re already close enough to have sex without too much effort from either party. It’s a surprisingly common sex position that can be useful for a bed that can prove to be a hindrance. To achieve this position, you should lie in a usual spooning-cuddle and go from there. This position should allow you to have fulfilling sex, without worrying about the squeaky bed becoming a distraction.
Squat Kneeling: This position is yet another intense way to test out how you can eradicate the noise made by your squeaking bed, without ruining the passion of sex. Have your partner kneel on their knees as you straddle them on top and use their shoulders for balance. This position works well under these circumstances as no intense thrusting means less pressure on the bed and ultimately less noise.
Faceoff: This is another simple position to use for minimal noise and squeaking, where you both can always stay silent (especially with relatives or children near) without breaking you and your partner’s bond. To carry this out, your partner should be sitting down, perhaps on the edge of the bed, while you sit on their lap, facing them. According to Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of She Comes First, this position is perfect for minimal noise and maximum friction.
The Om: To get this particular position right, your partner sits cross-legged on the bed, then you sit on their lap, facing them. Next, wrap your legs around your partner’s back or waist, pull each other closer, and rock back and forth. Make sure you carry out this position on a spot on the bed where you aren’t putting pressure or weight on the part making the squeaking sounds. You could try this position nearer the edge of the bed, as it’s less likely to create as much noise. Kerner says that: “with your legs and arms wrapped around one another, you can look each other in the eye as you climax”. Despite the silence (from both you and hopefully your bed), you’ll still feel connected to your partner, perhaps even in an entirely new way.
Change Your Mattress Every 7-10 Years
You’ve probably heard people say you should change your mattress every 8 years – and they’re not entirely wrong. The Better Sleep Council recommends replacing your mattress every 7-10 years, depending on comfort and support. The truth is that the life of a mattress varies depending on how you sleep on it, how you take care of it, how often you rotate it and frankly – how you have sex on it.
Think of your mattress as performance gear for both sleep and other activities. You wouldn’t expect an athlete to keep trudging through marathons in an old pair of running shoes or a cyclist to wear the same helmet for years on end. Eventually, the gear will wear down, and a replacement is required. So, even if you suspect the squeaking in your bed to be coming from a different part, it’s wise to keep on top of your mattress’ age before you encounter any issues with it. And how will you know when your mattress’ time is up? Well, probably when a spring pokes you in your back and the dreaded creak returns…
Have Sex In A Different Room
Possibly the easiest solution is to simply move to a separate room where the furniture isn’t as squeaky as your bed. The best part about this tip is not just it’s practicality, but also it’s other benefits. Having sex in a separate room will mean you won’t be compromising on losing out on sex due to a squeaky bed – meaning you’ll still be reaping on the rewards of romping. These advantages include keeping your immune system in check, improving women’s bladder control, lowering your risk of a heart attack, and can make prostate cancer less likely.
If you need some advice on how to choose which room, besides your bedroom, to have sex in without compromising on comfort or intimacy, we have some suggestions:
The Kitchen: The table and counters offer supportive surfaces of varying height where you can test out different angles and positions – and luckily, these surfaces are highly unlikely to squeak.
The Couch: This is one of the most perfect substitutes for the bed is the couch – essentially, the living room’s very own bed. Most couches are too narrow for two people to lie down and have sex with too much variety. That makes it a great place to entwine with your partner without fretting about every squeaky nut and bolt in your bed.
The Shower: To give you a fair warning if you plan on testing this one out – you’ll want to be careful, as things can get pretty slippery. This type of sex-outside-of-the-bedroom is another fantasy usually found in movie scenes, so why not try it out if your bed is proving to be a nuisance? It’s another perfect place to be close with your partner, as the water acts as a lubricant and the sounds of the shower can mask noises from reaching your neighbors or roommates.
The Car in The Garage: We know, it may feel like very old-school, college sex – but believe it or not, it can prove to be a steamy substitute to your squeaky bed. From adjustable seats, heating, and music – is there anything the car can’t offer? (other than unlimited space, but depending on the type of car you own, it can be overlooked).
A Super Soft Rug: We’re aware that while this placement of sex may look alluring and sexy in movies – especially when the couple is by a fireplace, sprawled across each other in perfect lighting, a lot of us will be thinking the same thing: how bad are their carpet burns?! This is why we suggest either using a soft rug you already have, or buying a new one. Some of the softest rug materials include wool, cotton, silk, and olefin. Once you’re assured both you and your partner are on a comfortable rug – free from burning friction – you’ll be able to have sex without the worry of mattress springs squeaking or headboards banging.
Consider Covering The Noise
Whether you’re concerned about a squeaky bed alerting other house members, or perhaps the noise is just irritating or distracting you in general, a very quick way to eliminate this issue, without any DIY or hassle, is to simply mask the noise temporarily. Try putting on a TV show or movie on in the background – or even a mood-setting music playlist – to take you and your partner away from thinking about the squeaking bed. While this is only a temporarily solution, you may find you enjoy it in the long-term, as it can also cover up other distracting noises such as a dog barking or traffic outside your home.
Another type of noise muffler to consider, especially if you have children, is the Sound + Sleep Machine. According to a couple’s review on oneextraordrinarymarriage.com, the machine helps you feel better, “knowing that you can be loud, very loud and not disturb others around you.” Now, the couple claims that whether or not they plan on having sex, they turn the machine on anyway – since it helps with sleep and won’t confuse their children when it is only switched on sometimes. The machine plays sounds such as rainfall, waterfall, meditation, fireplace, and others are great for masking noises that would otherwise be loud and disturbing. You can keep the small machine on a nightstand closest to your bedroom door.
However you plan on beating the squeak, you should hopefully get back into a regular routine with your partner and forget about the creak that once plagued your bed.
